Valentines Cocktails to Make You Blush

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8th January 2024

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With Valentines Day drawing near, we got to thinking about some of the most romantic cocktails you could be enjoying with your loved one. But while undertaking our research, we came across some drinks that are so rude, you might not feel comfortable ordering them in a bar! We decided they would be much more fun to share with you! WARNING: Do not read this blog post while your nan is watching!!

Suck My Balls


This creamy concoction is sure to be far tastier than the name implies! A thick combination of Baileys, Sambuca, Triple Sec and Vodka, this is a potent cocktail, so don’t drink too many on Valentines night!

Blow Job


This is a shot rather than a cocktail, and there is a very special way of drinking it. Made up of Baileys and Amaretto and topped with whipped cream (classy!), the drinker is supposed to stand at the bar in front of their shot, hold their hands behind their back, pick the shot up with their mouth and tip their head back. The only way the shot will come out of the glass is if you suck hard! This drink is a lot of fun but can be quite messy if you get it wrong! A bib may be required!

Creamy Pussy


This is another drink that tastes so much nicer than you would expect from the name! Order yourself a shot of Creamy Pussy at a bar and enjoy the sweet mix of Baileys and Tequila Rose! The pink drink tastes so good you will want to lick the glass!

Climax


After a few too many of these, you might not be lucky enough to experience the real thing! Luckily, this cocktail tastes so good it almost makes up for that! Amaretto, Crème de Cacao and Crème de Banane are combined to make this super-sweet sensation!

Screaming Orgasm


With the same connotations as the above drink, this one tastes very different! Baileys, Tia Maria and Milk are mixed with a little chocolate sauce and topped with whipped cream for a very satisfying experience! You might even get to enjoy more than one if you play your cards right!

While some of these cocktail names are a little risqué, we can’t help but childishly giggle at them. Now, the true test of maturity is if you can order these drinks at the bar with a straight face! Let us know how you get on!

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The key to a great cocktail is balance. Ensure that the sweetness, sourness, bitterness, and alcohol are in harmony. Use fresh ingredients whenever possible, and don't be shy about adjusting the proportions to suit your taste. For instance, if you find a drink too sour, add a bit more sweetener, or if it's too sweet, balance it with a bit of citrus or bitters.

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